My first year living here, I slept on the floor.
There were many moments where I didn’t know where food would come from.
I was walking to my job because my car was broken down.
Not a night went by without my cries resounding in my room.
There was a dark loneliness that sought to consume me.
But one night,
kneeled on the bathroom floor,
incessant tears streaming down my face,
contemplating giving up,
a still, small voice arrested me.
“No. Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
That firm and loving voice silenced the thoughts in my head and pulled me out of the ruinous hole I was in.
All I did was surrender.
I still find myself crying.
But it comes upon receiving forehead kisses from my husband, when serving us each a plate of food, when sleeping on a comfortable bed, when getting a FaceTime call from my sister, when reflecting on every which way He’s fought for me.
And it’s because sometimes tears are the only confession my heart can give when it swells with gratitude.
There is something to be said about the relentless pursuit of God’s love for His children.
It will stop at nothing when His eyes are set.
So fierce a love that breaks anything in His way, often times our own hearts.
But would it really be unyielding love if it didn’t do so?
He’s given me unspeakable joy, a crown fit just for me and a beautiful home I’ve been adopted into.
Beauty for ashes.
Mourning to dancing.
Death to life.
“That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.”
Psalm 30:12
Comentarios