I contemplated back and forth whether or not I should pay full price for this unbelievably gorgeous dress I'd found at the store.
For years I've been shopping at thrift and antique stores, paying just a few bucks for items. And while they are still my favorite places to find treasures, I spent close to an hour admiring the beautiful velvety material on this garment, the way it’s hue glistened in the light and made me feel like a little girl playing dress up all over again.
“Maybe if I open up one of their cards, I can get a discount", I thought to myself as I circled the store.
"Nope. That’s not a good idea. I will just pay the price on the tag."
Is it possible to begrudgingly and ecstatically make a purchase?
Because that is where I found myself as I approached the counter.
"Is this going on your credit card?", the woman at the register asked.
"No, ma'am."
I saw the total flash on my screen and just as I was about to insert my card, she stopped me.
She typed something and said, "Okay, now go ahead."
I saw the total, yet again, but it was less than what it was before.
"Woah! How'd you do that?", I asked.
"I just typed in a code", she smiled at me.
I was confused.
Had she discounted it for me for no seemingly obvious reason?
As I began to thank her, she handed me a $20 gift card to the store.
"Here you go", she said.
She gave it to me so nonchalantly as if her first random act of kindness wasn't enough.
"Why? What did I do?!" I asked with shocked eyes.
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "For being so polite and just wearing that smile of yours."
I was completely overwhelmed with gratitude and thanked her before she went on about her shift.
That woman had no idea what she had done or how much it meant to me.
As I began to make my way outside, I knew this had to be my Father’s doing.
Once I got into my car, I started replaying everything that had just happened. And I began to weep. Incessantly.
Hidden in the crevices of each tear, I heard His voice whisper to me, "There isn't a day that I will ever love you more than this very moment. I simply just do."
I was completely overcome with gratitude and awe. It absolutely wrecked me in the most beautiful way.
"But Lord, I look a mess, I haven't showered, and all I did was smile- it cost me nothing."
"That's the point. You don't need to look a certain way or do something grand for you to be the apple of My eye. Just like so, you cannot earn My love. I just do."
In that moment, I felt like the child that still lives within me. The little girl who longed for parental love. The child who yearned to be seen. Who needed to be told she was worthy.
The fact that the Creator of all eternity and existence, King of Kings, God in Heaven would be so interested in such a tiny human, such as myself, so much as to lean down and extend His love to me without ever taking counts has completely undone me.
I am floored, humbled, amazed that He’d be mindful of this woman who couldn’t even remember when the last time she brushed her hair was and yet made me feel as precious as any child is in the eyes of their parent.
This may seem like a silly, insignificant, small event to some, but to me, never had I known a love as selfless, as pure, as genuine, as unconditional, as real as this.
Deut 32:10
Psalm 17:8
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